Oct
07
2018
0

Day 268

Memory meal

Five years ago today my Mum died suddenly on a beach on Greece. The day itself is imprinted in my memory – the phone call from Dad, the conversations about what we were going to do. The shock. The horror. The panic. The grief. It felt like it would never end.

Then suddenly you realise that whilst your grief is there – it remains the same size as the day the bereavement happened – life has grown around it. Our lives have moved on and developed and we have lots of good things. There is so much of our lives, particularly with regard to the children that Mum was never present for. That’s painful but at the same time our things go on and we have to make an effort to be fully present every day.

This evening Dad, my sister Louise and I went out for dinner. Twice a year we try and go out just the three of us – Mum’s birthday and, erm, Mum’s death day. I love that this has become our routine.

We had a lovely meal with good cocktails and wine. We talked about Mum, we talked about life and plans and good things. I love Dad and Lou and I love that we can enjoy remembering and we can grieve together.

Despite sadness our lives are good. They are rich and fruitful and I am grateful for all we have.

Written by Anna Williams in: Dad,Mum,sister | Tags: , ,
May
20
2018
0

Day 135

Mum's birthday

Today would have been my Mum’s 68th birthday. Whilst we have both had really busy days and an awful lot going on my sister and I took time for a short walk together.

I miss Mum so much on days like this – the particular days when we remember her and mourn her loss, but the days I find hardest are those when someone innocent catches me unawares. When a particular song or smell, or a memory captures me unexpectedly. Those are the times when I feel her absence the most as I have not prepared for them.

I am grateful that we get to remember her with such happy thoughts, that Louise and I get to spend time together. Our lives are so blessed by all we have.

Written by Anna Williams in: Mum,sister | Tags: , ,
Apr
20
2018
0

Day 106

Auntie Jenny

Today was my lovely Auntie Jenny’s funeral. It was the most beautiful sunny day and they interment and service were so lovely.

The service was wonderful and it was absolutely packed. When we arrived half an hour before the start it was already standing room only. I was so very proud of my cousins who gave a lovely tribute to their Mum and my Auntie who gave her own memories of her twin sister. I was doing OK until she started ‘Jen and I came as a pair’. At that point I struggled to hold it together.

One of the things I appreciated the most about today was spending time with my family. We get together as often as we can, and whether it is for a happy or sad occasion I am always pleased to see my aunts and uncles and cousins. I picked the kids up at lunchtime from school and took them to the house for cake so that they could feel part of the whole experience. It was especially nice to see them haring about the garden and swinging on the swing seat.

I am constantly grateful for my family and the fact that we are able to share all the good and the bad things together. I appreciate having so many people I can go to for comfort and laughs and I know that together we are able to get through all things.

This photo is of my Mum, Auntie Josie and Auntie Jenny. It was taken in October 2010 when they came to visit us in Yorkshire and was taken on a day out to Howarth. I love it. So many wonderful memories of my Mum and aunts, and I am so happy that my life has been characterised by wonderful, strong, determined, brave, generous, kind and compassionate women. I am blessed.

Written by Anna Williams in: Family,Mum | Tags: , , ,
Oct
02
2017
0

A year in pictures – Day 268

25 September 2017Wow. Four years since Mum died.

Every single day I miss her. Every day I wonder how she would think I was doing as a mother myself. I think about her when I am talking to my kids, telling them off, cuddling them and especially when they make me laugh. I wish she had been around to see them grow up and I wish so much that she had been around to influence them and love them.

The photo of Mum was taken the day she died. The one of me and my sister was taken a year ago on the same beach. We stood in her footprints.

So often I feel that I walk in her shoes. As a Mum I hear her voice all the time both in my tone of voice but also what I say. Her influence was great, and still is.

Thank you Mum. I love, and miss you but most of all I am grateful for you. x

Written by Anna Williams in: Beach,Mum | Tags:
May
15
2017
0

A year in pictures – Day 135

Mum's birthdayThinking of my Mum today on what would have been her 67th birthday.

I come here though and count my blessings. In the background is another grave of a guy my sister went to school who died on this day in 2014. He was too young. I think of Simon Marquis today too.

Mum I love you and miss you x

Written by Anna Williams in: Mum | Tags:
Apr
17
2017
0

A year in pictures – Day 107

Mum's bears

Today my wonderful sister is 39 – next year she hits the big 4-0 and life truly begins!

About three months ago my sister commented that she had seen something on Dragon’s Den a company that made memento bear’s out of a loved one’s clothing. She mentioned that she would have liked something made out of Mum’s cardigan or soemthing. I brushed it off but looked up the site she mentioned and thought the memory bears were really ugly!

I found a wonderful lady in Guernsey who made memento keepsakes and commissioned her to make a bear for my sister and a rabbit for me out of one of Mum’s cardigans. Her website is Homemade by Sue. They are wonderful. Beautifully made and perfect in every way.

Louise was so delighted and this has made me happy. Something for us to remember Mum by.

Written by Anna Williams in: Mum | Tags: ,
Apr
05
2017
0

A year in pictures – Day 95

Big ChiefToday my Dad went to the school where my Mum used to teach to do an assembly.

The school have adopted Mum’s Legacy Project as their charity for the year and they will raise cash over the next few months.

It was lovely to go with my Dad and support him, but I didn’t anticipate him making me wear his Chief’s outfit!

Written by Anna Williams in: Dad,Mum | Tags: ,
Feb
07
2017
0

A year in pictures – Day 37

Signs of lifeBack in November we planted a memorial tree for my Mum in the new orchard at the hospital.

I walked past it today to go to a meeting and noticed that new life has already started springing from the base of it.

I am so looking forward to the day when I can pick the fruit from the tree and make it into a crumble. Spring is coming, the signs of life are everywhere.

Written by Anna Williams in: Mum | Tags:
Dec
02
2016
0

2016 Project366 (Day 336)

Mum's Advent CalendarI went to a craft sale a couple of week’s ago at my Mum’s church and I bought this gorgeous advent calendar.

I was admiring in when the girl on the stall told me that my Mum had actually made it. Cordelia had bought it off her a few years ago, but never really used it.

I had to buy it. It seems right that it came home with me for the children to enjoy. Thanks Mum. I love it!

Written by Anna Williams in: Craft,Mum | Tags:
Nov
12
2016
0

2016 Project366 (Day 317)

Mun's apple treeToday I went with my Dad, sister and niece to outside the new mental health facility at the hospital where an orchard has been planned. The weather was awful, persistent rain and the ground was horrible muddy!

People have paid for the trees and a plaque and the whole area will be like a remembrance garden, so obviously we got one for Mum. It is right outside my office and I love the thought that I should be able to go and pick the apples from her tree, or even sit underneath it and have lunch!

As my Dad says is is like a living headstone. We now have five headstones for her, and only one of them doesn’t do anything. We have built two schools in Burkina Faso as her legacy, created a garden at the school she worked at and planted an apple tree with a plaque bearing her name. It’s a good start and gives us license to talk about her in such a positive way. So much that she was passionate about still goes on, even though she is not here to see it.

Written by Anna Williams in: Family,Mum | Tags:

Design: TheBuckmaker.com WordPress Themes