May
19
2008
7

Tough decisions

Tomorrow MP’s will debate, among other things, the time limits for termination. Currently this stands at 24 weeks (although I believe that even later terminations are possible if there are significant disabilities, or risks to the mother – someone might correct me on that one though!!)

My younger cousin Ali was born early, at about 24 weeks I think, weighing 1lb 11oz. She is now 17 years old and apart from being a typical pain in the arse she is perfectly normal. I remember at the time being absolutely horrified that a foetus could have been terminated right up until the time she was born. I also remember very well looking at her through the window into the special care unit and thinking she looked like a little monkey, and was really scrawny and funny looking.

Many years ago I was an avid pro-lifer, but I guess over time I have changed. Working as a social worker gives you a complete shift in thinking when you see what other people have to go through and some of the tough decisions they have to make. Whilst I still absolutely believe in the sanctity of life, I also recognise that for some people, termination may be the right solution in a very difficult situation. The one thing I have a really hard time with though is the fact that a foetus can be terminated so late… 24 weeks is far, far to late. If Ali could survive at 24 weeks, over 17 years ago, then surely medical technology has moved on significantly since then. I know that 20 weeks has been mooted as an option, but even that is too late… what about 16 weeks? Surely 4 months is long enough for someone to make a decision?

I know I have never been in that situation, and I would never, ever pass judgement on someone who make a choice to end a pregnancy, but I would hope that as a civilised society we can protect and care for the most vulnerable individuals, whether they have been born already, or whether they are yet to enter into this world. Responding with grace and compassion is essential when we enter a debate such as this. Without it we will always have polarised opinions and we will lose the people in the middle who are affected by the decisions.

Written by Anna Williams in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,
May
16
2008
0

Grace

71 Last night I had the most amazing conversation with my younger sister. At times she and I are like chalk and cheese and yet last night I feel as though we met in a much more honest and emotional way than ever before. She had been reading my blog about my recent weird God experiences and she started talking about the fact that for the first time ever she is finally beginning to understand what grace really means.

It seems to me that grace is one of those theological concepts that we feel we should understand, and yet it is a slippery little monster to get to grips with. Over the last few years my understanding of grace has been one of the most sustaining things for my Christian faith. Where the church has failed in so many ways, the knowledge that no matter what I do God still loves me passionately has continued to hold onto me. Finally my sister is starting to understand what this means, and yet it seems to be rocking her world. I am not entirely sure that is a bad thing either, but it is distinctly uncomfortable for her.

In the book What’s So Amazing About Grace? a Christian counsellor David Seamans is quoted as saying

“Many years ago I was driven to the conclusion that the two major causes of the most emotional problems among evangelical Christians are these: the failure to understand, receive, and live out God’s unconditional grace and forgiveness; and the failure to give out that love, forgiveness and the grace to other people… We read, we hear, we believe a good theology of grace. But that’s not the way we live. The good news of the Gospel of grace has not penetrated the level of our emotions.”

There have been three books which have shaped my view on faith, and in particular my understanding of grace; The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming by Henri Nouwen, The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning and What’s So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey. I read all three of these books quite close together, and in particular the Nouwen and the Manning books really challenged my viewpoint of myself, and how I believe God sees me.

The other interesting thing about our conversation is that I was trying to explain to my sister that one of the reasons I feel so comfortable in the queer Christian community is that many LGBT men and women have good understanding and experience of what grace means. It would seem that for the first time ever my sister may understand why my attraction and inclusion in that community is so important for me. For those people who sit outside of perceived social norms and expectations, especially in the church, grace is vital. Not only it is about grace being directed to other people we meet, but also the ability for individuals to direct grace towards themselves. There is nothing quite like sitting in a large group of people, sharing communion, and knowing that their struggles are held together by grace. I don’t get that in church, but I do get it at Courage. The knowledge that none of us are there because of who we are, but because of who God is is overwhelming.

So why is grace so hard to understand? Is it that we all live in a world which is obsessed with achievement and results? Is it that we all have such low self-esteem that we don’t believe we are worth being given things we have not worked for? I am not sure, but all I know is that my faith is built on grace. Without it I have nothing, and failure to get to grips with it will mean that I will burn myself out, trying so hard to pursue the ideal but gaining nothing of substance.

Grace. It’s more than enough for me.

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