Dec
31
2011
9

The end of 2011

Hong Kong Feb 2011_0416Dorset_3799Well this year has been quite a momentous year in lots of ways.

The Mister and I spent the first part of the year working hard and generally enjoying living on the mainland but we also spent a lot of time with friends and enjoyed travelling about and seeing people. We went to Hong Kong on February and in October and the chance to experience that amazing city will stay with us for a long time. In August we spent a week camping in Devon before meeting up with friends and camping in Dorset and then heading to Greenbelt. We also went to a family wedding on Somerset and managed to get a few days to ourselves and we celebrated our first wedding anniversary in Pickering in North Yorkshire.

Of course the most significant thing about this year is that we took the plunge and moved back to Guernsey. It was a decision that was a long time in the making and the actual moving part was stressful. I hope I don’t have to move anywhere long-distance for a long time! We are currently living with my parents whilst we save up for a house. This should be easier as The Mister has got a job and starts in January. Hurray!

EdenGsy_1849Being back in Guernsey in wonderful. It is lovely to be able to see the family and spend proper time there without having to rush off. My sister had another baby in February and Eden is hilarious to be around, and Barnabas continues to entertain. Of course being back at home means that my sister seems to consider us as another set of babysitters!

The year hasn’t all been good though. This time last year I was hoping that this would be the last time we celebrated Christmas and New Year as just a couple, I was hoping that by Christmas we would be a family. Sadly getting pregnant has proved to be more complicated than the Daily Mail makes out. We are waiting for an appointment at the fertility specialists but living in Guernsey means that we are having to wait quite a long time. My biggest fear is that we will require intervention such as IVF, and if that ends up being the case then we will almost certainly have to give up on our desire to have children, as we will not be able to afford it. There are no ‘free’ treatments on the island.

PA smiling bw Despite all this (and in spite of it all in some case!) I feel blessed. I live on a beautiful island, hopefully we will be able to buy our own house this year, and we have fabulous families on both sides. I am most fortunate though because I have The Mister and I recognise that I am truly blessed. He keeps me centrered, makes me feel safe, makes me laugh and is so very supportive.

So, a very Happy New Year to everyone. Let’s hope that 2012 brings more joy, and pleasure and let’s just hope that our dreams come true.

PS) The last picture of the two of us I shamelessly admit I nicked from (AllieW!)

Written by Anna Williams in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,
Dec
31
2011
0
Dec
22
2011
14

Dear God

Dear God,

Can you hear me?
Are you there?

I just want to remind you that it is my birthday tomorrow. You must have forgotten or maybe you weren’t listening. I have asked you nicely for one present this year – you could even give it to me as my Christmas present as well if it is too expensive.

I guess I believed all that stuff that you have spouted in the past about ‘fulfilling promises’ and ‘hopes and dreams’ and stuff like that. If that’s true then why am I not pregnant yet? I would forgo all my presents and everything else if I could just get pregnant – yes even my Christmas Kindle that I know The Mister has bought me.

The other option is that you actually don’t care. You don’t love me and you don’t want to give me good things. It’s a bit like giving a really brilliant present, the best ever, to my sister, but not getting me one too. It just doesn’t feel very fair does it?

Well, I hope you got this. You feel a little bit like Father Christmas sometimes – I know the legend but don’t believe you exist any more.

Love AD x

Written by Anna Williams in: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,
Dec
22
2011
1

Oh

Tomorrow is my birthday. To say I am not looking forward to it is an understatement.

Another year older. Another year without succeeding.

Written by Anna Williams in: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,
Dec
16
2011
10

Christmas: the good & the bad

I am approaching Christmas this year with mixed feelings. It is so lovely to be home and to feel part of the build up to Christmas. Seeing my lovely niece and nephew and how they are growing (and being naughty) and developing is an absolute pleasure. Work is going fine and I think there is a lot that I can do to make a difference in that team and in the lives of my clients. It looks like The Mister has a job which is good news. Church is fine – a bit evangelical at times but I’ll manage with that. The pleasure of having a quieter life with much less traveling is blissful. My stress levels are considerably less than they were when I was living in Leeds.

And yet, I feel sad. Last Christmas I hoped that we would have a baby of our own; that we would be able to experience the pleasure of a little baby and the excitement of a first Christmas together. Fifteen months of trying to get pregnant has left me despondent and bereft. I find it hard to be around people who are pregnant because I constantly feel ‘why them’ and ‘why not me’. Facebook reminds me insistently of my monthly failure, whether that be with adverts for maternity clothes or baby toys, or the constant barrage of status updates with pictures of scan photos, new-born photos and people going on and on about their ‘bumps’… “**** is going out today with her husband and bump”…. Well of course you are going out with your bump, you couldn’t bloody well go out without it could you?

Christmas this year will be mixed emotions. I will find whether this month has been another failure on my birthday. Great. Another year older and another month when I am not pregnant.

So, at Christmas I come to think of that gift, the child who changed the world. The incarnate God who came as a baby, the best gift the world could ever have; that baby who brings good news and hope to all who believe in him, the one who allegedly ‘gives good gifts’. I hope that this God will give us a gift of a baby this year. However, much as I try to experience this God I largely feel his absence, his lack of intervention and a distinct lack of hope. Who knows? All I am sure of is that I am not really looking forward to Christmas.

Written by Anna Williams in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,
Dec
03
2011
1

Yummy mincemeat :)

Today I am feeling quite Christmassy. I have never made mincemeat before so decided that it couldn’t be that difficult. My aim is to make it as good, if not better, than my Auntie Jen’s. Auntie Jen is a cooking legend!

So, I followed Delia Smith’s mincemeat recipe. Its super easy – lots of chopping and weighing but other than that there is nothing to it! So far I have mixed all the ingredients, with the exception of the brandy, together and now it is all in a covered bowl resting in a cool place… which as the fridge is full it means Dad’s workbench in the garage.

Tomorrow I will put it in a barely warm oven and then I will add some brandy and store it until I need it. It smells delicious so I can’t wait to eat it!

Next weekend I am going to have a masterclass from my Mum in how to make Guernsey Biscuits. The recipe can be found here. You will need to scroll down to near the bottom of the page. Guernsey biscuits are more like bread rolls than biscuits but they are delicious, especially when served with an inappropriate amount of Guernsey butter!

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Written by Anna Williams in: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

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